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Find medical service for your baby 1. Well before treatment is needed, help your other family, he or she may have been in a child to prepare emotionally for medical better mood at the time, their child may have procedures. Play “dentist,” been older, more outgoing, or have had “doctor” or previous positive experiences with medical “hospital,” read relevant books dental visits. The procedure may also have about children having medical treatment. To been  different  and  not  as  difficult. help your child become familiar with medical instruments before treatment is needed, find 6. Ask for a detailed, step-by-step real instruments (such as a rubber pick and description of what will happen during the plastic dental mirror) or create entire appointment. If the staff is reluctant “play” ones (such as using a to give this information to you, go piece of fabric as a blood pressure wrap). elsewhere. When my son needed surgery, I Medical treatment can be frightening to a asked for and received a very detailed child, especially if there are too many new description of the procedure. Unfortunately, and strange things to learn about all at I was not told that they would take him once. forcefully from my arms and rush him into surgery, locking me out of the room and 2. Find respectful, kind and skilled ignoring  my  protests. caregivers now, and ask for your family to be accepted as their patients. If there is an 7. All too often, medical personnel can be emergency, you won’t have time to intimidating and critical when their check out recommendations. Ask your friends, procedures are questioned. And when a child other parents, La Leche League leaders and needs medical treatment, the parent is anyone else whose opinions you trust to naturally distracted and worried, making recommend professionals who genuinely like communication more difficult. For these children and respect their needs. Holistic reasons, it can be very helpful to bring medical personnel such as naturopathic along an ally – a spouse, friend or dentists and pediatricians are usually relative with similar views to step in if you patient and kind with children. It can be are having difficulty communicating your well worth the extra effort, such as driving wishes and to show that your views are not to another town, to avoid traumatic medical unique or odd. Your friend may also have experiences. creative solutions you may not have considered, such as having the child on your 3. Be aware that most adults, regardless of lap during a dental appointment. Whatever you their profession, do not “get it” suggest, be polite but assertive: that children deserve to be treated with “I’ll be staying with dignity and respect (most likely because they her,” or “I’d prefer to were not treated respectfully in their own stay, thank you,” and walk in as if you childhoods). “Drive defensively” have  given  permission. when medical treatment is needed. Don’t assume that because someone went 8. If the procedure is an elective one, to dental school, nursing school or medical remember that your legal consent is needed. school that they understand the critical If all else fails and your child’s importance of early childhood experience. critical needs for support and comfort are This essential topic was almost certainly not being ignored, make it clear that you can and covered in their classes. (A pediatric will withdraw permission if necessary. If you dentist once criticized me for nursing my son find yourself in a really difficult in toddlerhood, even though one of the many situation, ask to speak to the head nurse, benefits of nursing is to help set the jaw department head or hospital administrator. properly and help prevent the need for braces Don’t be deceived by a nurse’s later  on.) claim that there is “no one higher.” Again, having an ally present 4. Remember that medical professionals can be can be very helpful if the situation requires very intimidating. The usual argument for such a confrontation. Remember that you owe parent-child separation is that medical far more to your child than to a stranger, personnel can “better get their work regardless  of  their  professional  status. done.” A helpful reply is that you also have work to do — to provide 9. Be especially careful about making critically important emotional support promises to your child that you may not be — and that with both of you doing your able to keep. For example, before promising respective jobs, your child will receive the to be present in the recovery room, be sure best possible care. You might remind them that this is possible and that all relevant that everyone, child or adult, recuperates personnel are informed of this plan. Although better and more quickly if given strong I had permission from my son’s doctor emotional support and that someone closely to be present when he awoke, the nurses on bonded to the child can best provide this. duty that day had not been informed. Broken The Charter of Rights for Children in promises endanger the trust between parent Hospitals includes recommendations that also and  child  and  should  always  be  avoided. apply to office visits (you have our permission  to print and share this article). 10. Finally, send a letter after the procedure, letting the staff know what worked Be aware that children, like the elderly, and what didn’t. This type of feedback often receive less pain medication than do is essential for effecting positive changes adults. A child can experience great pain but in our medical institutions. And don’t feel powerless to ask for help. Stay on your limit such letters to negative experiences. child’s side by validating his Applauding the efforts of staff members who experience, and never hesitate to ask the were particularly supportive can be the most staff for immediate pain relief to be given helpful  feedback  of  all. to  your  child. Even the most meticulous planning 5. Unless you have an emergency situation, won’t guarantee that you aren’t always meet the staff well in advance before surprised by dental/medical procedures or scheduling an appointment. Even so, be aware policies. If something goes amiss, be that no matter how cordial the staff may seem prepared to validate your child’s during a preliminary meeting, that may say feelings of being abandoned or betrayed. little  about how they actually see children. Accept the anger and allow it to be expressed safely (such as by providing pillows for To find a professional who will work in close pounding), and accept and express your own partnership with your child as well as with anger and disappointment. Tell your child how you, always bring the child with you to see you feel, what you wish you had done and what how they interact with him or her. Relying on your child deserved to have had from you and even a glowing recommendation without first from the doctor. Apologize and reassure him meeting the dentist, doctor or nurse may not that it was not deliberate on your part. Show be enough. Another family may have had a good with your words and actions that you are on experience because of numerous factors that his side, even though things went wrong. We do not apply to you or your child: the doctor can only do the best we can, learn from our may have had more personal rapport with the mistakes and hopefully, do better next time. 1 A B C 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 65 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 94 95 96 97 98 99 100