Find medical service for your baby

1. Well before treatment is needed, help your child tomay have been in a better mood at the time, their child
prepare emotionally for medical procedures. Playmay have been older, more outgoing, or have had
“dentist,” “doctor”previous positive experiences with medical/dental visits.
or “hospital,” read relevant booksThe procedure may also have been different and not
about children having medical treatment. To help youras difficult.
child become familiar with medical instruments before6. Ask for a detailed, step-by-step description of what
treatment is needed, find real instruments (such as awill happen during the entire appointment. If the staff is
rubber pick and plastic dental mirror) or createreluctant to give this information to you, go elsewhere.
“play” ones (such as using a pieceWhen my son needed surgery, I asked for and
of fabric as a blood pressure wrap). Medical treatmentreceived a very detailed description of the procedure.
can be frightening to a child, especially if there are tooUnfortunately, I was not told that they would take him
many new and strange things to learn about all atforcefully from my arms and rush him into surgery,
once.locking me out of the room and ignoring my protests.
2. Find respectful, kind and skilled caregivers now, and7. All too often, medical personnel can be intimidating
ask for your family to be accepted as their patients. Ifand critical when their procedures are questioned. And
there is an emergency, you won’t have timewhen a child needs medical treatment, the parent is
to check out recommendations. Ask your friends, othernaturally distracted and worried, making communication
parents, La Leche League leaders and anyone elsemore difficult. For these reasons, it can be very helpful
whose opinions you trust to recommend professionalsto bring along an ally – a spouse, friend or
who genuinely like children and respect their needs.relative with similar views to step in if you are having
Holistic medical personnel such as naturopathic dentistsdifficulty communicating your wishes and to show that
and pediatricians are usually patient and kind withyour views are not unique or odd. Your friend may
children. It can be well worth the extra effort, such asalso have creative solutions you may not have
driving to another town, to avoid traumatic medicalconsidered, such as having the child on your lap during
experiences.a dental appointment. Whatever you suggest, be polite
3. Be aware that most adults, regardless of theirbut assertive: “I’ll be staying with
profession, do not “get it” thather,” or “I’d prefer to stay,
children deserve to be treated with dignity and respectthank you,” and walk in as if you have given
(most likely because they were not treatedpermission.
respectfully in their own childhoods). “Drive8. If the procedure is an elective one, remember that
defensively” when medical treatment isyour legal consent is needed. If all else fails and your
needed. Don’t assume that becausechild’s critical needs for support and comfort
someone went to dental school, nursing school orare being ignored, make it clear that you can and will
medical school that they understand the criticalwithdraw permission if necessary. If you find yourself in
importance of early childhood experience. Thisa really difficult situation, ask to speak to the head
essential topic was almost certainly not covered innurse, department head or hospital administrator.
their classes. (A pediatric dentist once criticized me forDon’t be deceived by a nurse’s
nursing my son in toddlerhood, even though one of theclaim that there is “no one higher.”
many benefits of nursing is to help set the jawAgain, having an ally present can be very helpful if the
properly and help prevent the need for braces latersituation requires such a confrontation. Remember that
on.)you owe far more to your child than to a stranger,
4. Remember that medical professionals can be veryregardless of their professional status.
intimidating. The usual argument for parent-child9. Be especially careful about making promises to your
separation is that medical personnel canchild that you may not be able to keep. For example,
“better get their work done.” Abefore promising to be present in the recovery room,
helpful reply is that you also have work to dobe sure that this is possible and that all relevant
— to provide critically important emotionalpersonnel are informed of this plan. Although I had
support — and that with both of you doingpermission from my son’s doctor to be
your respective jobs, your child will receive the bestpresent when he awoke, the nurses on duty that day
possible care. You might remind them that everyone,had not been informed. Broken promises endanger the
child or adult, recuperates better and more quickly iftrust between parent and child and should always be
given strong emotional support and that someoneavoided.
closely bonded to the child can best provide this. The10. Finally, send a letter after the procedure, letting the
Charter of Rights for Children in Hospitals includesstaff know what worked and what didn’t.
recommendations that also apply to office visits (youThis type of feedback is essential for effecting
have our permission to print and share this article).positive changes in our medical institutions. And
Be aware that children, like the elderly, often receivedon’t limit such letters to negative
less pain medication than do adults. A child canexperiences. Applauding the efforts of staff members
experience great pain but feel powerless to ask forwho were particularly supportive can be the most
help. Stay on your child’s side by validatinghelpful feedback of all.
his experience, and never hesitate to ask the staff forEven the most meticulous planning won’t
immediate pain relief to be given to your child.guarantee that you aren’t surprised by
5. Unless you have an emergency situation, alwaysdental/medical procedures or policies. If something
meet the staff well in advance before scheduling angoes amiss, be prepared to validate your
appointment. Even so, be aware that no matter howchild’s feelings of being abandoned or
cordial the staff may seem during a preliminarybetrayed. Accept the anger and allow it to be
meeting, that may say little about how they actuallyexpressed safely (such as by providing pillows for
see children.pounding), and accept and express your own anger
To find a professional who will work in closeand disappointment. Tell your child how you feel, what
partnership with your child as well as with you, alwaysyou wish you had done and what your child deserved
bring the child with you to see how they interact withto have had from you and from the doctor. Apologize
him or her. Relying on even a glowing recommendationand reassure him that it was not deliberate on your
without first meeting the dentist, doctor or nurse maypart. Show with your words and actions that you are
not be enough. Another family may have had a goodon his side, even though things went wrong. We can
experience because of numerous factors that do notonly do the best we can, learn from our mistakes and
apply to you or your child: the doctor may have hadhopefully, do better next time.
more personal rapport with the other family, he or she