| The news of their arrival reached these | | | | spews a glittery substance (I'm having it |
| shores long before they did. A massive ad | | | | analyzed) into the air. The windmill |
| campaign introduced them to America and | | | | activates the TV screens that are lodged in |
| touted their status as Britain's "New Fab | | | | the Teletubbies' stomachs. These screens show |
| Four." There was an extensive media blitz | | | | video clips of real children wreaking havoc |
| launched by the television network that would | | | | on the world; jumping up and down on the |
| carry their already "wildly- successful in | | | | beds, screaming at the top of their lungs, |
| Europe" half hour show. And there was a | | | | making a mess in the bathroom, etc. All the |
| steady stream of network news coverage, | | | | things you discourage your kids from doing |
| including the now-famous segment on Nightline | | | | the Teletubbies make seem like fun (this is |
| in which Ted Koppel used the word "cute" a | | | | to instill a disregard for authority, I'm |
| hundred and sixteen times and just for the | | | | sure).Everything is provided for our furry, |
| briefest second, actually seemed to smile.I | | | | little friends when they crash in their |
| must admit, all the hoopla did make me wonder | | | | hi-tech Tubby house. They eat Tubby Toast and |
| whether or not their coming to America was | | | | Tubby Custard (munchies), and are always |
| such a good thing. What affect would they | | | | under the watchful bug eyes of a noisy vacuum |
| have on our impressionistic youth? Would our | | | | cleaner named Noo-noo (obviously their parole |
| children cry and scream in unadulterated joy | | | | officer).Here's further proof from PBS |
| at the sight of these new superstars? Would | | | | Online, home of the Teletubbies website: |
| they fall flat on their diapered bottoms and | | | | |
| call out their names? Was it to be | | | | "Tinky Winky is the biggest Teletubby. His |
| Barney-mania all over again? Only time would | | | | favorite thing is his bag, which he likes to |
| tell. Nevertheless, I prepared myself for the | | | | take out with him for walks. He usually sings |
| worst.So, from across the ocean they came, | | | | his song "Tinky Winky." He loves to dance and |
| this New Fab Four, singing and dancing and, | | | | fall over on his back." |
| much like the original group, talking with | | | | |
| accents so thick one had to listen closely to | | | | Notice they didn't say what's in Tinky |
| understand what they were saying. But being | | | | Winky's bag, but we all know what's in there. |
| understood has nothing to do with success. | | | | Can you say, "Tubby paraphernalia?" Then |
| Their debut song, a cheerful, little ditty | | | | there's Dipsy, whose name, I think, says it |
| called, "Say Eh Oh" knocked the Spice Girls | | | | all. From PBS: |
| off the top of the charts in England late | | | | |
| last year and will probably give Madonna a | | | | "Dipsy sings a song with a reggae beat and |
| run for her money here. I would venture to | | | | when he is feeling 'especially cool' will go |
| say they are now more popular than John | | | | for a walk by himself, wearing his hat and |
| Lennon, especially among those who have no | | | | singing the song." |
| idea who John Lennon was.Who is this | | | | |
| multi-talented group of young performers that | | | | Ah, a Rastafarian Tubby, mon. Next, Laa Laa: |
| has the world in such a tizzy? They are Tinky | | | | |
| Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po, or as they are | | | | "Laa Laa is the happiest and most smiley of |
| called by fifty-eight gazillion kids around | | | | the Teletubbies. She too loves to sing and |
| the world, "The Teletubbies," and they are | | | | dance. Her favorite word is 'nice'. Laa-Laa |
| PBS's latest offering for viewers one-year | | | | loves the way her ball bounces and wobbles |
| old and up -- the group TV executives refer | | | | and grows bigger and smaller. Laa-Laa always |
| to as the "Daddy, buy me that!" | | | | likes to know where all of the Teletubbies |
| demographic.Now, if you don't have kids, | | | | are. She has her own special La-la-la-la-la |
| especially little ones, you probably have no | | | | song." |
| idea who the Teletubbies are. But if you do | | | | |
| have kids and haven't been hiding from them | | | | Which I believe is sung to the tune of |
| in a cave for the last few months, you are | | | | Jefferson Airplane's 'White Rabbit.' And |
| well aware of who these carpet-covered Kupie | | | | finally, there's Po, the smallest Teletubby. |
| dolls are. And like 'em or not, you have to | | | | From PBS: |
| agree that they are the best damned | | | | |
| babysitters since the aforementioned dinosaur | | | | "Po often jumps up and down to express her |
| named Barney. When the Teletubbies are on, my | | | | feelings of joy, enthusiasm, and surprise. |
| two-year old doesn't move. She doesn't blink. | | | | The natural place for Po is to be on her |
| In fact, I'm not even sure she breathes, so | | | | scooter zipping around the hills. She makes |
| strong is the Teletubby allure.How best to | | | | the noise "quickly, quickly, quickly" or |
| describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? | | | | "slowly, slowly, slowly" when riding her |
| Imagine Barney without the wonderful singing | | | | scooter. Po spends a lot of time on her own." |
| and dramatic acting. Think Mr. Rodgers | | | | |
| without the expensive costumes, sets and | | | | |
| musical arrangements. Think Bozo without the | | | | This is the one that will go nuts one day |
| high drama. Think Captain Kangaroo on | | | | and start running over bunnies. "Po was |
| Quaaludes.Still don't get it? Let me put it | | | | always such a loner..."Whether it's an |
| into terms you'll understand: if Pink Floyd | | | | innocent kid's show or the subliminal tool of |
| produced a half-hour show for kids, this | | | | some covert drug organization, "Teletubbies" |
| would be it. And you would enjoy it | | | | is not without its share of critics. Oddly |
| immensely. Guaranteed.Like a classic Pink | | | | enough, it's the very simplicity of the show |
| Floyd album, there is something strangely | | | | that sparks the most controversy. Critics |
| hypnotic about this show. No matter what your | | | | accuse "Teletubbies" of dumbing down |
| age is, this show will calm your nerves, | | | | children's television to the levels of |
| relax your tired muscles, put your mind at | | | | "Baywatch" and "Wheel of Fortune." Po, say it |
| ease. It will numb your bones, soothe away | | | | ain't so..."I don't think babies have to |
| tension and make you go, "Whoa, dude..."In | | | | watch television,'' Peggy Charren, an |
| fact, after watching several hours of this | | | | advocate for better children's TV programming |
| show with my daughter (okay, sometimes I | | | | has said. "There's something creepy about |
| watch it without her), I've come to the | | | | propping an infant up in front of the |
| conclusion that maybe, just maybe, the | | | | television, no matter what's on.''Thank God |
| members of Pink Floyd or some other '60s | | | | for social watchdogs like Ms. Charren. If not |
| counter-culture group really does have a hand | | | | for people like her they'd be showing |
| in its production. Here is the evidence thus | | | | cigarette commercials on the Cartoon Network |
| far:When the show begins, you enter Teletubby | | | | and passing out condoms with Happy Meals at |
| Land; a land of green, rolling hills dotted | | | | McDonald's! Heaven knows there's nothing |
| with beautiful flowers (could those be | | | | worse that a two-year-old chainsmoker who |
| Poppies?) and grazing bunny rabbits (could | | | | packs a condom and watches "dumbed-down" |
| these be flying pigs in disguise?). The sky | | | | TV.Ms. Charren, lighten up. "Teletubbies" is |
| is always blue and filled with puffy clouds. | | | | just a cute little show that means no harm to |
| It is a truly happy place, watched over by an | | | | anyone.And if you really think it's such a |
| animated sun that has a real baby's smiling | | | | bad thing to plop a kid down in front of a |
| face. Then they appear; Tinky Winky, Dipsy, | | | | television set to keep them occupied for 30 |
| Laa Laa and Po, dancing and jumping around | | | | minutes, then come on over to my house and |
| like giant Beanie Babies on a hot stove. They | | | | watch my kids.My favorite show is coming on. |
| have antennae on their heads and TV screens | | | | Everybody say, "Eh Oh!"From "Small Business |
| in their stomachs. And they giggle alot, even | | | | Q&A" With Tim Knox |
| when nothing is apparently funny. Could it be | | | | |
| that our little friends have been smoking a | | | | Tim Knox is a nationally-known entrepreneur, |
| bit of the old Teletubby weed?There are loud | | | | author, speaker, and radio show host. |
| speakers that arise from the flowerbeds and | | | | |
| order the Teletubbies around. There is a | | | | Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs |
| magic windmill that sits high on a hill and | | | | realize their business dreams. |