Humor Is Everywhere - You Just Have To Look For It!

Why didn't I think of that? How many times have wehelp. "Yes, I can check you out here, because you only
all asked that question? When it comes to humor,have ONE bundle of grapes...not 248 individual
funny things happen to us all the time. I think the reasongrapes...yes, you do have 248 grapes, sir...but, they are
why more people don't have more humor in their lives,all in one bundle...am I confusing you...or am I confusing
is because they don't CAPTURE the incident when itME?" The clerk smiled, but I didn't get the laugh I
happened! And, if you have a memory like minethought I would get. So, when a person does
(forget it), you will never, remember the incident thespontaneous humor, you never know what you're
way it happened!I wrote this article, because I want togoing to get. In this case, I didn't get what I wanted, but
show the reader how there is humor all over themaybe that's was just "sour grapes" on my part! (pun
place...IF you just look for it!AROUND THE HOME: Iintended)DECISIONS; DECISIONS:I'm getting tired of
share with you some of things that happen around themaking so many decisions during my lifetime! I need a
house and other places.A few years ago, I was sickbreak! It seems like everywhere I go, I have to make a
as a dog with a bad cold and flu! I was in bed fordecision...and it's getting old!* I go into a department
about a week! The chest congestion I had, was sostore to buy a shirt, and go up to the counter to pay
deep that I lost my voice to a whisper! Coughing all thefor it, and the clerk asks me, "Sir, will this be cash...or
time, made things worse! This agony lasted for aboutcharge?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)* I go to the pizza joint, and
two weeks.One day, the doorbell rang, and withorder a pizza and the clerk asks me, "Sir, do you want
nobody around to answer the door, I got up andthick and chewy or thin and crispy?" (S-C-R-E-A-M!)* I
answered it. There was a young man standing therego to the ice cream store to get some ice cream, and
who was about fourteen years of age and hethe clerk asks me, "Sir, do you want a cup or a cone?"
said:Newspaper boy: "I'm collecting for the morning(S-C-R-E-A-M!)* I go into the grocery store to pick up
newspaper, sir."And, in a WHISPERING voice I asked,a few items, and I pay for them and the bag boy or
"How much is it?"In his own WHISPERING voice thegirl asks me, "Sir, do you want plastic or paper?"
paper boy responded, "$7.50."At which time I(S-C-R-E-A-M!)* * *
responded in a WHISPERING voice, "Oh, you don'tI've been a football fan most of my life and I like to
have to WHISPER, young man, I have a terrible coldwatch a game on occasion. When my wife and I
and the flu, and I lost my voice!"Again, the young manwere dating, I asked her if she liked football and if she
responded in a WHISPERING voice, "Whether Iknew anything about the game. Her answer, "Sure, I
WHISPER or not, sir, the bill is still $7.50!"Here are twoknow a lot about football." I was a little skeptical, so I
people WHISPERING at the front door, as if we weregave her a little quiz, and asked her what's a first
in a library. During this short exchange with the paperdown. Her answer, "That's the first player that gets
boy, the more I laughed at what was happening theknocked down," she said.
more painful it was! As you can see, there can be(somebody get me some aspirin!)* * *
humor knocking at your front door.IN THE WORKBecause my computer blew up, I was going to a local
PLACE:I knew a man and wife, named Kathy andcommunity college located near-by to use their
Rick Nelson, who worked at the same company I did.computers, until I could replace mine. The computer lab
They had a baby, and were having trouble coming uphas about 65-70 computers for students and public
with a name that they could both agree on. Thisuse. One day, a woman came into the lab, and
tug-of-war between them went on for weeks, andsearched all around the lab to see if there was a
they still couldn't come up with a name for their babycomputer available. That day, it was a packed house
that they could agree on. So, they decided to put aand no computers were available. She asked me
notice up on the blackboard in the break room at work,what she could do, and in my, "off the wall humor," I
and to ask fellow-employees for any suggestions theysaid to her, "Why don't you yell out FIRE!"STOP; LOOK
may have for the Nelson's baby. The followingAND LISTEN...and, if you do that, you'll get more ideas
suggestions appeared for the Nelson's baby:Babyand more ideas for humor! In today's fast-paced
Face Nelsonsociety, people are running around so fast, I don't think
Full Nelson (wrestling term)they know if they're coming or going. STOP! People
Half-Nelson (wrestling term)OUT IN THE STREETShave to slow down a little! They have to stop and
AND AROUND TOWN:Something that really annoyssmell the roses. Set a little time aside for yourself...free
me, is when I go into a store through the IN door...thereof cell phones, lap tops; and no Blackberry, no
is somebody coming the other way and goes OUTblueberries, no strawberries; no wine berries; no
through the IN door! And, when I finish taking care ofcranberries...do you get my drift ?LOOK: Pay more
my business in the store, I proceed OUT theattention to the things around you. As you saw the
OUTdoor...only to have somebody come IN the OUTnewspaper boy story; the Nelson's and the baby story;
door! I've never been a conformist, so maybe I shouldthe things in a store. One of the most important tools
change my ways. Next time I go to the store, I shouldthat I do, is to carry a small spiral notebook with me, so
do what everybody else does. Go IN the OUT doorideas don't get away. Even if I just jot down one word,
and come OUT the IN door!I can remember it later on and work on the idea. It
(People who do this, have what I call, that "ice creamseems like when I write something down, I'll remember
truck mentality," ding-a-ling...ding-a-ling!)* * *it, but if I don't I have trouble remembering. Try it for a
I love this one. One day, I was craving for an icewhile.LISTEN: Stop talking about yourself so much, and
cream cone, one day, so I went into a fast-foodlisten to others for a change! They're are people in this
restaurant and ordered one. The young man behindcountry who are so obsessed, and see nobody else
the counter asked me, "Sir, do you want that icebut themselves. Example: Driving in the morning, there
cream cone for HERE...or do you want it to GO?"are people who go to work...as they admire
(Hell-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!) (Please don't makethemselves in the rear-view mirror. You know the
me scream!)IF YOU DON'T SEE ANYTHINGtype...throwing kisses to themselves...not a hair out of
FUNNY...WHY DON'T YOU MAKE SOMETHINGplace; the make-up and lipstick are just fine ; a little
UP:Most of us have a craving for something at somepowder puff on the nose...and, I've seen a lot of
time or another...Mexican food, pickles; donuts and soWOMEN do this, too, on their way to work! I think
forth. One day, I was craving green seedless grapes,we're talking about listening, here...are you listening?
and I had to have some, or I was going to go crazy!HELLO?Nobody starts out in any endeavor as a
So, I went to the grocery store and got the grapes.professional. I have a big advantage, when it comes to
When I went to pay for the grapes, I thought I wouldhumor, because I've been in it for over forty years. So,
have a little fun with the grocery clerk.The Express lineit's been a long learning period for me, and it will be a
sign reads: "20 items or less." There was nobodylong learning period for you, too! But, everyone has to
around in the express line, so I headed over there tostart someplace, and if you're interested in getting
check out, and I asked the clerk, "I have about 248more humor into your life, I encourage you to do so.
seedless grapes here, and I'm over the limit, so canGood luck! And, as the Humor Doctor always says,
you check me out since there are lines over at the"Take two aspirin, and DON'T ever call me in the
other registers? The clerk looked at me like I neededmorning!