| Have I mentioned that I used to be a dance teacher? | | | | her whole week off-balance. |
| Balance was a physical quality back then. Something | | | | So we examined what she really wanted when she |
| that all the dancers strived for. Some days it was | | | | used balance -- what the word "balance" was hiding. |
| elusive and their performance would be off the entire | | | | What she wanted from balance was joy. She was |
| class. Other days they felt strong, their steps were | | | | already a pretty joyful person, but when she wasn't |
| clear and precise, and they felt anchored to the Earth. | | | | balanced, she lost that joy for her life and what she |
| As a life coach, I still haven't gotten away from | | | | was doing. Her PTA duties were not giving her any |
| balance. So many of my clients -- especially the | | | | joy or satisfaction. |
| women -- want balance in their lives. The start feeling | | | | When we dug even deeper -- getting even more clear |
| frazzled and overwhelmed and balance seems to be | | | | and specific, we uncovered what she needed right |
| the elusive answer. But the truth is that they want to | | | | now. She really needed more time with her family -- all |
| feel strong and anchored to the Earth so they can | | | | teenagers who would soon be leaving the nest. On the |
| perform better, just like my dancers. | | | | surface, it looked like the PTA was the perfect thing |
| Now a dancer can tell you exactly what a plie or | | | | for being involved in their lives, but it was actually taking |
| pirouette is. Those are very specific movements. But | | | | her away from her house during family dinner. She |
| they can't really define physical balance or tell you how | | | | needed to be directly involved in her children's lives |
| to get it. It's something you just have to feel, and you | | | | instead of in a supporting role for their education. She |
| have to make these little tiny adjustments to achieve it. | | | | quit PTA and spent that evening home with her family. |
| That's how it is with life balance, too; it's a feeling, not a | | | | Get connected |
| thing you can get or do. And sometimes you have to | | | | Sometimes we don't feel like we can quit an activity to |
| make these little tiny adjustments until you're suddenly | | | | get more balance. Or we have a list of tasks that just |
| and easily feeling balanced. | | | | need to get done, which feels like the exact opposite |
| Ironically, the first thing to do to start feeling life balance | | | | of balance. How can we feel balance when we have |
| is to stop using the word. By saying you "need more | | | | those situations? |
| balance," you're just adding one more thing to your "to | | | | The answer comes when we connect to our soul. |
| do" list. It's one more thing that has to get done; and | | | | Take a step back and look at the big picture. What's |
| when you don't get it done, it becomes another reason | | | | really important in your life? What are your top |
| to beat yourself up. | | | | priorities? What are your fundamental values? Get |
| "Why can't I just find some balance? What's wrong | | | | clear on what makes your soul sing, then ask yourself: |
| with me?" | | | | How can I make a soul connection? |
| Get clear | | | | I think anything can be connected to your soul. Almost |
| The other reason to banish the word from your | | | | ANY job can be framed to provide a soul connection. |
| vocabulary is that balance is a Blanket Word; it's a | | | | A cleaning lady provides peace and order to a home |
| word that's so general, it covers up your feelings and | | | | and family. A fast-food worker gives time to all the |
| needs. A Blanket Word lets you hide from yourself. | | | | people seeking quick nourishment -- time they could |
| Instead of hiding, you need to get clear on what | | | | spend on very valuable endeavors. The person at the |
| balance really means if you're ever going to feel | | | | gas station is providing us with energy that allows us |
| balanced. | | | | to drive to our next amazing life experience. |
| So what feelings and needs are you hiding? Before | | | | Just look at what is important to you and make the |
| you throw out the word, you need to get clear and | | | | connection. The connection is what makes our work |
| define it. Ask yourself: | | | | meaningful. When my daughter was a baby, I used |
| What do I really want from balance? | | | | cloth diapers. I never minded the "extra work," because |
| What do I need right now?" | | | | it connected to my environmental values, my parenting |
| Some people want balance to have more peace in | | | | values and my financial values. There was a very |
| their lives. Others want more time alone or with family. | | | | strong soul connection that gave my extra laundry a |
| Others want to be appreciated or understood. | | | | lot of meaning. |
| Whatever your answer, chasing balance isn't going to | | | | Can you even begin to imagine what life would be like |
| get you any closer to your wants and needs. | | | | if you made those soul connections? What if |
| But once you're clear on your wants and needs, you | | | | everyone did? How about if you just stopped worrying |
| can align with those wants and needs. You can then | | | | about being balanced, and just let it be a signal that |
| make those necessary adjustments to your life. | | | | you're not living life easy? |
| I once had a client who was really family oriented. To | | | | Because that's exactly what it is. It's just a signal and |
| show support and be involved in her children's | | | | nothing else. It's not some elusive thing that we have to |
| education, she joined the PTA. Yet every time a | | | | find or get to successfully dance through life. It's just a |
| meeting came around, she dreaded going. It through | | | | signal telling you that it's time to get clear and connect. |