| The day my daughter came home from school talking | | | | holidays. On Valentine's Day, we routinely put all of our |
| about a Valentine fundraiser my heart sank. The | | | | emotional feel goods in someone else's lap. We are |
| school was selling heart shaped brownies for the | | | | supposed to wait patiently to be told how wonderful |
| children to send to their "special friends." They could | | | | and how loved we truly are. |
| even send them anonymously. Everyone, she | | | | It sounds worse every minute. I think it's not just okay, |
| explained, was trying to buddy up to make sure to get | | | | it's probably a good idea, to tell the kids that when that |
| a brownie. I know this is not nice to presume, but what | | | | brownie cart comes around to buy themselves a |
| if your child doesn't get a brownie, what if they don't | | | | Valentine. Tell that to yourself, too. If you sit around |
| find a buddy? | | | | waiting for someone else to tell you how special you |
| Most of us can remember times when we were left | | | | are you may wait for a very long time. I don't even |
| out. Maybe everyone else paired off for a dance and | | | | mean that to sound negative. But somehow, it seems |
| we never got a date. The most popular kid in class | | | | like I have spent more Valentine Days wishing for |
| threw a party and we weren't invited. Luckily, a | | | | Valentines than getting them and I can't honestly say |
| brownie is easier to produce than a date or a party | | | | that I haven't got my fair share. I truly have, but it is the |
| invitation. It's also easier to use in learning to love and | | | | times in between that bring so much pain and there is |
| appreciate yourself. | | | | no reason for it to be that way. |
| One event comes to mind, which was very special to | | | | If kids learn it early, they are truly ahead of the game. |
| me. I won a small award, nothing grand on a world | | | | They won't spend chunks of their life in aimless waiting. |
| scale, but I wanted to celebrate and I really wanted | | | | Moments spent with special friends are treasures, but |
| flowers. Now, my honey would have bought me | | | | so are the moments spent alone. And I can almost |
| flowers if I had told him I wanted them, or I could have | | | | guarantee, those kids will feel a whole lot better eating |
| even sulked until he read my mind. | | | | a brownie they provided for themselves than sitting |
| Instead, I did something very innovative for me. I bought | | | | around watching everyone else eat theirs. |
| myself flowers. I didn't spend a lot, just a small bouquet | | | | Those flowers I bought myself were some of the best |
| to tell myself that I appreciated me. I was proud of | | | | I ever got and not because they were the grandest. It |
| what I had done and those flowers felt good. Every | | | | was because I learned to appreciate myself. I learned |
| time I looked at them, I felt good. Now when I think | | | | to accept responsibility for my own "feel goods." There |
| back to that award, what I remember most is not the | | | | is no shame in that. If you have a special someone in |
| award, it is that I learned to give myself flowers. I | | | | your life, that is a bonus. It is truly a treasure -- never to |
| learned to take responsibility for my own "feel goods." | | | | be taken for granted. However, in the ebb and flow of |
| I keep hearing ads for Valentine's Day and every time I | | | | life, it is inevitable that we are all going to spend at least |
| do, I think about those flowers. I think about all the | | | | some part of it alone. The only person who stays with |
| Valentine Days I rushed to an empty mailbox and sat | | | | us from the time we are born until the day we die is |
| alone feeling left out of the world. Valentine's Day can | | | | our own self. Shouldn't we truly appreciate and make |
| be the unhappiest holiday of the year, and I love | | | | certain that we feel special too? |