| The day my daughter came home from school | | | | routinely put all of our emotional feel goods |
| talking about a Valentine fundraiser my heart | | | | in someone else's lap. We are supposed to |
| sank. The school was selling heart shaped | | | | wait patiently to be told how wonderful and |
| brownies for the children to send to their | | | | how loved we truly are. |
| "special friends." They could even send them | | | | |
| anonymously. Everyone, she explained, was | | | | It sounds worse every minute. I think it's |
| trying to buddy up to make sure to get a | | | | not just okay, it's probably a good idea, to |
| brownie. I know this is not nice to presume, | | | | tell the kids that when that brownie cart |
| but what if your child doesn't get a brownie, | | | | comes around to buy themselves a Valentine. |
| what if they don't find a buddy? | | | | Tell that to yourself, too. If you sit around |
| | | | waiting for someone else to tell you how |
| Most of us can remember times when we were | | | | special you are you may wait for a very long |
| left out. Maybe everyone else paired off for | | | | time. I don't even mean that to sound |
| a dance and we never got a date. The most | | | | negative. But somehow, it seems like I have |
| popular kid in class threw a party and we | | | | spent more Valentine Days wishing for |
| weren't invited. Luckily, a brownie is easier | | | | Valentines than getting them and I can't |
| to produce than a date or a party invitation. | | | | honestly say that I haven't got my fair |
| It's also easier to use in learning to love | | | | share. I truly have, but it is the times in |
| and appreciate yourself. | | | | between that bring so much pain and there is |
| | | | no reason for it to be that way. |
| One event comes to mind, which was very | | | | |
| special to me. I won a small award, nothing | | | | If kids learn it early, they are truly ahead |
| grand on a world scale, but I wanted to | | | | of the game. They won't spend chunks of their |
| celebrate and I really wanted flowers. Now, | | | | life in aimless waiting. Moments spent with |
| my honey would have bought me flowers if I | | | | special friends are treasures, but so are the |
| had told him I wanted them, or I could have | | | | moments spent alone. And I can almost |
| even sulked until he read my mind. | | | | guarantee, those kids will feel a whole lot |
| | | | better eating a brownie they provided for |
| Instead, I did something very innovative for | | | | themselves than sitting around watching |
| me. I bought myself flowers. I didn't spend a | | | | everyone else eat theirs. |
| lot, just a small bouquet to tell myself that | | | | |
| I appreciated me. I was proud of what I had | | | | Those flowers I bought myself were some of |
| done and those flowers felt good. Every time | | | | the best I ever got and not because they were |
| I looked at them, I felt good. Now when I | | | | the grandest. It was because I learned to |
| think back to that award, what I remember | | | | appreciate myself. I learned to accept |
| most is not the award, it is that I learned | | | | responsibility for my own "feel goods." There |
| to give myself flowers. I learned to take | | | | is no shame in that. If you have a special |
| responsibility for my own "feel goods." | | | | someone in your life, that is a bonus. It is |
| | | | truly a treasure -- never to be taken for |
| I keep hearing ads for Valentine's Day and | | | | granted. However, in the ebb and flow of |
| every time I do, I think about those flowers. | | | | life, it is inevitable that we are all going |
| I think about all the Valentine Days I rushed | | | | to spend at least some part of it alone. The |
| to an empty mailbox and sat alone feeling | | | | only person who stays with us from the time |
| left out of the world. Valentine's Day can be | | | | we are born until the day we die is our own |
| the unhappiest holiday of the year, and I | | | | self. Shouldn't we truly appreciate and make |
| love holidays. On Valentine's Day, we | | | | certain that we feel special too? |